Tag Archives: dying

Roy’s Article in the Huffington Post!

I am so thrilled with this! Roy has a beautiful article up for Valentine’s Day in Huffpost: My Girlfriend Is Dying Of Terminal Cancer, But Here’s Why I Still Feel Lucky! I know I am the lucky one to have … Continue reading

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A Video Conversation with the Incomparable Lesley Everest

Lesley Everest, a cherished old friend who is a minister, transformation companion, and doula –in addition to being a miraculous cancer survivor, amazing mom, and extraordinary person– has honoured me with this interview, the first on her brand new site, … Continue reading

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On Leaving a Loved One

The other day while knitting, for diversion I picked one of the first movies that popped up in the first fringe netflix category I could find. It was Our Souls at Night starring the aged Robert Redford and Jane Fonda. … Continue reading

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Ask Me Anything Repost: Oliver’s Answers

Here are Oliver’s answers to the questions a class of college students in a course called Death and Dying had for him about his mom being near death. I was so proud of his courage, generosity, and thoughtfulness in writing … Continue reading

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Ask Me Anything #10: Staying Positive

This is the last question from the college class, and it’s an important one. How do you stay positive? Don’t you ever think this is unfair, or ask why me? I do believe that our attitudes are, to a considerable … Continue reading

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Ask Me Anything #8: Afterlife

(This “ask me anything” answer is in response to a class of young college students’ questions.) Do you believe in an afterlife? I’m not sure about an afterlife. I don’t believe in one absolutely, in that I’m not counting on … Continue reading

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Ask Me Anything #7: Bucket List

(This “ask me anything” answer is in response to a class of young college students’ questions.) Do you have a bucket list? No! I’ve always disliked not only the term, but the whole idea. The only things I really wanted … Continue reading

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Ask Me Anything #6: Speaking Up

Do you speak up for yourself more?                      I actually do speak up for myself a little more than I used to. Since I don’t have much time, I’m less tolerant of people wasting that time with superficial nonsense, insincerity, or … Continue reading

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Roy’s Blog: The eye of the storm

Roy wrote this post that perfectly expresses the strange in-between state we are in with this cancer thing. I was going to write about this time of relative wellness, but he has done it for me with just the right … Continue reading

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On Grief, the Shadow of Joy

I noticed this morning that I had labeled the front of my journal Summer 2016. I don’t write very regularly, so the notebook still isn’t filled, even at the end of Summer 2017. Curious about what I was thinking last … Continue reading

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Roy’s Blog: What to say and not to say

My boyfriend has written a super helpful (and funny!) post about how to respond to someone sharing their bad news about a loved one’s diagnosis on his blog, And sometimes it goes the other way. This is a companion piece … Continue reading

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On Hoping for Miracles

My palliative nurse keeps telling me that sometimes chemo patients’ hair grows in completely differently—for instance, curly instead of straight. I don’t know how she might have guessed that I have always coveted curls. Maybe from a glance at my … Continue reading

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Guest Post by Oliver

My son Oliver and I recently accepted an invitation to answer some “ask me anything” questions from a class of college students in a course called Death and Dying. Here are Oliver’s answers to the questions they had for him … Continue reading

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Book Recommendation

The Bright Hour is a radiant book. Nina Riggs brings her fine sensibility and craft as a poet to her heart-wrenching yet funny memoir about facing death as a young wife and the mother of two little boys. Structuring her book … Continue reading

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On Giving Gifts

I have written here before about receiving gifts, and of the sweetness of gratitude. I do believe that gratitude is one of the cornerstones of happiness. But lately I’ve been thinking even more of giving gifts, of what I want … Continue reading

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On Pain and Palliative Care

This morning I was reading The Art of Death by Edwidge Danticat. In it she recounts how her own mother refused all pain medication as she was dying of ovarian cancer because she didn’t want to be “gaga” at the … Continue reading

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On Motherhood

I’ve been a mother half my life. Nearly a quarter century, and most of my adulthood. In all that time, I have been trying to figure out how to mother in a way that feels right. Or at least with … Continue reading

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On a new normal

This is a strange space to inhabit. I’m not feeling that sick at the moment, and in my dreams I am still healthy. So I wake most mornings feeling perfectly fine. The emotional intensity of the first weeks after my … Continue reading

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On Paths

Something about paths is so poignant to me. Naturally occurring paths, those that happen just because others have taken that way before: they are invitations. A dirt path worn across a vacant lot or cutting a corner, through the woods … Continue reading

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On Creativity

I have always loved art, both looking at it and making it. Since becoming ill (actually since the US election, which might very well be what made me sick), my need for visual art has intensified. If I had more … Continue reading

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