I got through my last goodbye hug with Nathan at the open door of a taxi in the middle of a busy street in London on Monday morning. It was a hard moment.
But I’m glad I didn’t put the visit off. In my last week there my condition began to decline. My wonderful reprieve is over.
It feels a lot like last February, before my surgery, with my tumours growing exponentially and bleeding into my abdomen. This morning I had four liters of blood drained (the medical team was alarmed, as they were expecting straw-coloured fluid—but no worries: they’re keeping these jugs out of the blood bank!) This means I’m much more comfortable for the moment, but in general I am expecting a continued decline. I see my palliative doctor tomorrow and recently had scans, so perhaps I’ll have more news to share tomorrow.
I also seem to have caught my first cold since getting so sick!
Liking this post just doesn’t feel appropriate Susan. I suspect it may have been more than a hard moment. I have said this before but I will say it again. I am filled with admiration for you. Big hug sis.
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You’ve had such a reprieve, it was easy (for me not living with it) to allow the tumors to stay background. And now they are not, and you are entering a new phase. I am so glad that you have embraced your journey so wholeheartedly, you inspire me. Thanks, and all good wishes for comfort to you.
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Hi Susan, Just to say I think of you often and love reading your posts. Sorry to hear this last. Hoping for the best scan results and sending hugs, Anne L.
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Thanks, Anne!
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Hi Susan, I am a friend of Tracey’s and I have been honoured to read your honest and real posts as you go through this challenging time. You have been inspiring to me as I face my own mortality at 83. I thank you for all you have shared and wish you courage as you continue your journey. Hugs.
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Thanks, Kay! I now feel a special connection with people who are decades older than me and also facing mortality. Love and peace to you.
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Hi Susan, I too have been following your posts for awhile although I have not left a comment before. I just want to join the others in sending you best wishes and prayers. May you be surrounded and strengthened by the love of those around you. God bless.
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Thank you, I appreciate that! It does help when I’m not feeling so great.
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Good morning Susan, I am thinking about you as you go through this new challenge and visit with Dr. Borod. It is a blessing that you spent precious time in London.
Warm wishes.
Sue
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Thank you, Sue! I am very glad I didn’t wait to go.
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How smart of you to do this blog, to go see Nathan – to do and write all the lovely things you are doing. As I said before – your account of dying is a lesson to me in living. I take it to heart. Thank you.
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Susan, you are in our hearts. xoxo
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Thank you, Susan, for bringing us along on your journey and sharing your insights. We are all better off for it. I wish you comfort and love.
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It seems really strange clicking the like button on this blog, while it’s good that you’re spirit is ready for the journey it’s just that our minds are conditioned to feel bad whenever we hear about sickness. I like how bold and courageous you are.
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Hey Susi i hope you will recover soon and i will pray to God for your good health 🙂
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Hi Susan,
I have been thinking of you often since you posted this update. When I read this I felt deep sadness for you, and I still do, I was hoping for longer. I want to say this and acknowledge the sadness I know you feel with this development.
I feel validated when someone acknowledges the deep pain I share occasionally. They are saying I hear you, and it means a lot to me. You are courageous and have a wonderful outlook on what is important in life but I know you have your moments, and I just want to say, I hear you.
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